Download or read book How to Become President of the United States written by Eugene Telser and published by . This book was released on 2007-07 with total page 0 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: It was exactly 4:18 A.M. on a Monday in mid-December. The phone startled me out of an intense sleep. I had exhausted myself over the weekend circulating through a medley of preholiday celebrations, tailored to meet the needs of single, lonely adults. When I had stumbled into my apartment about two hours earlier it had been much too difficult to shed all of my garments. I lay face buried in the pillows, feet dangling over the side of the bed, in a desperate attempt to gather in enough sleep so that I could face what I knew would be a bleak, grey and cold Monday morning. The sound of the bell near my left ear startled me into a full flip from my stomach to my back, just like a crack of thunder had done to me so often on those hot summer nights of my childhood. I wasn't certain of what had awakened me 'till the next burst of vibration from the phone. "What the hell," I thought, "who could be calling now?" Glancing at the lighted dial on the clock-radio I saw the minute flip from 4:17 to 4:18. "Jeez. What kinda nut calls at this hour?" My bedroom was freezing. The tip of my nose, despite having been buried in the pillow, felt like an ice cube.